Following Jesus

Bin Laden is Dead (A Christian Perspective)

2011-05-01T23:38:00.003-04:00

Bin Laden is dead, and while part of me is both surprised and relieved and happy, a very large part of me is mourning his death. Despite everything he had done, he was still a human being. He was still made in the image of God. And despite how far he may have fallen from that image, he was still a child of God. Tonight, I pray for his soul. Even though he deserves torment and torture in hell, I remind myself that we all deserve punishment in hell. But through the grace of Jesus Christ we are saved. Maybe he found that grace, maybe he can still find it. Regardless, tonight he will be in my prayers. May he rest in peace. Amen

Psalm 59

2011-04-06T23:24:00.000-04:00

Deliver me, O God, from the enemies of my soul.
I am no longer afraid of men who stand in my way, even of those who obstruct Your
   purposes and who deceive their fellowmen with their arrogant and clever cliches.
They anger me, but they do not frighten me.
My pain and confusion come by way of my own weaknesses and faithlessness.

I strive for success and am fractured by failure.
I reach for ecstacy and am clobbered with depression.
I wait for guidance and Your heavens are gray with silence.
I ask for infilling and am confronted with emptiness.
I seek opportunities and run into stone walls.

I over come these pernicious demons in the morning-only to face them again when day
   turns into night.
They refuse to die, these persistent devils.
They plague my days and haunt my nights and rob me of the peace and joy of God-motivated
   living.

And yet, O Lord, You have surrounded me life like a great fortress.
There is nothing that can touch me save by Your loving permission.

-Leslie Brandt

I have only now

2011-04-01T07:20:00.000-04:00

I have only now.
Tomorrow never comes.
Yesterday is a memory.
I have only now.

Why worry?
I'm not in control.
Just go with the flow
There's no need to be sorry.

Live in the moment.
Be alive in the present.
Live life with no regrets.
And maybe you will reach atonement.

But who am I kidding?
I am weak and broken.
But just look around you.
We are all weak and broken too!

But step off and get to it.
Live life in the moment.
Be yourself and and let your true colors fly
Because we only get one life and you better enjoy it.

Come and Live, in Freedom

2011-03-24T22:32:00.000-04:00

To live in Christ. To live in Truth, and in Love, and in Light, we must live by prayer. It is prayer that brings us closer to God and it is by prayer that we are able to unlock our inheritance from Him. It is by prayer that we walk in the Light that is Christ and it is by prayer that we stay true to God. It is by praying that we are able to love our enemies and it is by prayer that we are able to listen and discern the call of God. To pray is to live, and we must pray constantly! Prayer can be meditative or contemplative, it can be spoken or read, it can be conveyed through music or dance, it matters not what we pray as long as our heart is pure. It is with a pure heart that we cry out to God, and it is with a pure heart that we seek out love. Prayer is the key to life and today I pray that we can all embrace prayer as a way of life. It is my hope that we can all come together in prayer, and live to bring heave on earth, to declare God's Kingdom and to rush in His will on "earth as it is heaven!" So join me in prayer. Join me in bringing God's Kingdom to earth. Join me in sharing, basking, and glorifying in the One who created us all. Come, and Live!

Our father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be that name,
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy Will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power,
And the glory.
Forever and ever,
Amen.

2011-03-19T23:03:00.000-04:00

Just set your anger free.
Let if flee from thee.
Let it soar far far away
And let your soul be in peace.

Love has set me Free, Love has conquered Me!

2011-03-15T22:55:00.000-04:00

Love. It's the path we all speak of, but which very few walk. I am trying to walk the narrow path of love and I find myself to be utterly failing. Some would call me a good person, and I am. But I fall into temptation and sin. However, I'm not alone on this path. Jesus is here with me, guiding me with His light and picking me up when I stumble. If it wasn't for Him, I would not still be on this path. But here I am.

Following Jesus is the easiest and hardest thing to do. But it's only hard because we make it so. I have been struggling a lot in life lately, trying to figure out which direction God wants me to go. But that's not really true, for awhile I was just trying to see where I wanted to go and I was ignoring God. You would think that once I had committed to following Christ it would be easy for me to actually follow. But it's not. As much as I've surrendered, part of me still fights for control. A part of me still wants a say when deep down I want to give all of it way to God. I want to be a disciple of Christ, I want to be as close to Him as is possible, and yet, at the same time a part of me doesn't want to go down that road. I tell myself, not yet, wait a few years and then go knowing that a few years from now I'll say the same thing. I need to leave port. I need to raise my anchor and set sail. But to where?

The Narrow Path is not just a journey in the physical world, it is a journey inside ourselves. It is a journey of self discovery. For awhile, I was fighting God. But now I'm not. I have been set free by the Grace and Love of Jesus. He has set me free, taken a hold of me and conquered me.

If you are lost, if you are struggling with God, stop running. Stop running and turn to God. Face Him. Run to Him! Embrace Him! Surrender to Him. Let His Love and Grace engulf and drown you in His light. Freedom lies at the heart of every person, and at the heart of every person is Jesus Christ.

Love has set me free! And now it has conquered me! I am finally at peace.

My Heart's Desire

2011-03-06T00:07:00.000-05:00

I don't care about heaven and hell. I don't care about what's right and wrong. I don't care about doctrine, creed or politics. What I do care about though, is Jesus Christ.

Deep down, my heart's desire is to see every person come to know Jesus in a personal way. A way that is unique and indescribable and full of life. You can call me crazy or naive, ignorant and pathetic, a visionary or prophet. It doesn't matter to me. I don't care about titles or fame or money. All I care about is Jesus Christ, glorifying Him and sharing His love with the world. The joy that He has brought me. The peace that I have known because of Him, I want everyone to share in that.

How exactly will I bring people to know Jesus personally? I don't know. I honestly don't, but I am gonna do the best that I can and trust in God. And if I fail so be it. And if I succeed beyond my wildest imagination then give praise to the Lord! I do not deserve the life that I have and so I want nothing from it. I am thankful and grateful for the life that I have been given and just want to give others the gift that I have so humbly received. Undeserving as I am, God loves me. He loves all of us. I just pray that we all come to understand and appreciate that. His love is our love and our love is His.

I don't know where my life is heading. But deep down, this is my heart's desire.

God's Story and Our Story

2011-03-03T01:38:00.001-05:00

I don't know what it is, but there is something inside of me, something driving me to keep on writing tonight. I can't stop. I don't know why but I don't try to understand it, I just obey the Spirit within me and write. There is a parable that I want tell you, it comes directly from Nouwen's book, after the parable I am going to follow with his immediate remarks. Just read it and let your heart be filled.

God's Story of Adam

"Long, very long, before I gave Adam to his parents, long before he was born among his fellow human beings, I knew him and loved him. He belonged to me as my beloved child. I carried him from all eternity in my heart and mind and cared for him as for the apple of my eye. Then one day I sent him to the planet earth to live among people. Because he would be a man invited to suffer, I entrusted him to a loving woman and a caring man who were to be his parents. I sent him to be a silent witness who would bring my message of love through his great vulnerability. I know that few people are capable of fully accepting a gift hidden in brokenness. Therefore, I chose with great care these two people so that they could help me in revealing that gift to the world.

For thirty-four years Adam lived among his brothers and sisters. He was not able to speak, walk without assistance, go regularly to school, find a job, earn a living, or have a wife and children. He didn't give talks, write books, or win a prize. He simply was present among people as a silent witness to my love.

Then, on February 13, 1996, I saw that Adam had fulfilled his mission and I called him back home to me. I gave him a voice so he could tell me all he had experienced on the earth and a body that would allow him to walk, run, and dance in my presence to everyone's delight. I am so glad to have him back, and I know for sure that having been where he was, he will give special attention to all who loved him and cared for him but also to all the people whose brokenness he shared."

(Nouwen continued)

Are you ready to hear this story from above? Doesn't this story echo the story of Jesus, God's own beloved child? Isn't this your story and mine? Can you imaging God smiling when we discover that Adam's story, your story, my story, and the story of Jesus are in truth one and the same story?...Sometimes it takes a lifetime to see, hear, and believe God's story of us.

The Love of God is so incredible, it is so overwhelming that my lips cannot even begin to fully describe it's power. Even now just thinking about it, just embracing it I am brought to my knees in tears. I am consumed in a body of emotion and as tears fall from my eyes I smile and laugh. There is no greater feeling in the world...

Life is full of distractions, especially in our society. I encourage you to break free from the distractions and to fully live in the Love of God. Just accept it and embrace it. I wish I can say that I am always conscious of it, but I get distracted daily - for whatever reason. I am not perfect. But we don't have to be for His love! Just bask in His beautiful grace and give Him your everything! That's all we can ever do. And in the end, LOVE WINS!

If you haven't read Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen, I encourage you all to pick up the book and read it; especially if you are feeling lost right now. Turn to God. Turn to His love and remember that you are His beloved child, and that nothing will ever change that.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8: 38-39

Three Monks on an Island

2011-03-03T00:55:00.000-05:00

(I know, I've bee posting like it's my job lately, but when the Spirit moves you you gotta move. Here is another parable.)

Three Monks on an Island

Three Russian monks lived on a far away island. Nobody ever went there, but one day their bishop decided to make a pastoral visit. When he arrived, he discovered that the monks didn't even know the Lord’s Prayer. So he spent all his time and energy teaching them the “Our Father” and then left, satisfied with his pastoral work. But when his ship had left the island and was back in the open sea, he suddenly noticed the three hermits walking on the water – in fact, they were running after the ship! When they reached It, they cried, “Dear Father, we have forgotten the prayer you taught us.” The bishop, overwhelmed by what he was seeing and hearing, said, “But, dear brothers, how then do you pray?” They answered, “Well, we just say, ‘Dear God, there are three of us and there are three of you, have mercy on us.’” The bishop, awestruck by the sanctity and simplicity, said, “Go back to your land and be at peace.”

The purity of our heart is more important than the words we actually say.

The Fugitive and the Rabbi

2011-03-03T00:39:00.000-05:00

A while back I read Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen. I am now re-reading it and the parables that he shares from different cultures are so powerful that I feel the need to share a few of them.

The Fugitive and the Rabbi

One day a young fugitive, trying to hide himself from the enemy, entered a small village. The people were kind to him and offered him a place to stay. But when the soldiers who sought the fugitive asked where he was hiding, everyone became very fearful. The soldiers threatened to burn the village and kill every person in it unless the young man was handed over to them before dawn. The people went to the Rabbi and asked him what to do. Torn between handing over the boy to the enemy and having his people killed, the Rabbi withdrew to his room and read his Bible, hoping to find an answer before dawn. In the early morning, his eyes fell on these words: "It is better that one man dies than that the whole people be lost."

Then the Rabbi closed his Bible, called the soldiers, and told them where the boy was hidden. And after the soldiers led the fugitive away to be killed, there was a feast in the village because the Rabbi had saved the lives of the people. But the Rabbi did not celebrate. Overcome with a deep sadness, he remained in his room. That night an angel came to him and asked, "What have you done?" He said: "I handed the fugitive to the enemy." Then the angel said: "But don't you know that you have handed over the Messiah?" "How could I know?" the Rabbi replied anxiously. Then the angel said: "If, instead of reading your Bible , you had visited this young man just once and looked into his eyes, you would have known."

Jesus is in all of us. Yes, every living person who ever lived. Jesus was there. But we don't see it. We don't look for him in this life. Instead we read our Bible and wrongfully judge people. We forget that we are all children of God. When is the last time that you have looked at another human being and saw Jesus in them? Maybe the question should be when was the last time you really looked? I won't lie, it's been awhile for me. I haven't been looking, but this reminds me that He is there in all of us. Love, in my opinion, is the litmus test for Christianity. If we don't love, we don't follow Christ. Christ died for us while we were still sinners. While we were still rebelling against Him and were effectively His enemy he died and paid the price for us. How many of us would die for our enemies? How many of us would even die for our friends?

I challenge you, all of you, to truly live a life of Love in Jesus. I will accept this challenge with you and live it out. Let us all live in the Love of Christ and follow by His example. May His glory be spread upon all the Earth, and may we awaken everyone to His love.

May the Peace and Love and Grace of Christ be with you, always.

Amen.

Being True to Yourself

2011-03-03T00:17:00.000-05:00

We should not deny our own experiences, but neither should we discount the experiences of others. For both are equally real and true.

I cannot deny my own experiences. I cannot deny my personal and real encounters with God. Chances are, our views on life and faith are different. But both are real. My experiences, my encounters, they are just as real as yours and to say that I am a liar, or that I am wrong is only foolish and naive. Live life through my perspective and experience before you criticize me. See life how I see it before you denounce me. And I will live life through your experience and seek to understand why you view life so differently then I do. But just because what I believe is unorthodox does not make it any less true or real. Just because you might call me a heretic does not mean that I am going to hell.

I am tired of pretending to be something I am not. I am tired of living up to people's expectation of who I am. I am different, accept that. Accept the uniqueness of my position. I'm not criticizing you so why should you be criticizing me. I am who I am: a child of Grace, a son of God through Jesus Christ. So is everyone else. We are all God's children, even our enemies. If you cannot recognize that than I pity you because you have not experienced the Joy that I have experienced. But I don't criticize you for it. I don't judge you because of it. You have had Joy's that I have not experienced. Why can't you just accept that? Why do you have to try and convince me that I am wrong. Who are you to say what is right and wrong? Who am I to decide? I'm not. Neither are you. Our live are our own. We experience Truth in different ways. So what if mine are different than yours. So what if my beliefs are different than yours. Truth is Truth wherever it is. Truth cannot not be Truth. But what does it matter. We will never see eye to eye so why do we bother? We will never see eye to eye.

Live your life and I will live mine, but don't try and change me without first trying to understand who I am and where I come from. I am who I am. I believe what I believe. I am true to myself because if I was not than I wouldn't be true to God. Being true to yourself is being true to God. He formed you, He created you, He loves you, He is within you. Therefore, if you lie to yourself you life to God Himself. So be true to yourself.

I am true to myself. Are you true to yourself?

Why I love traveling.

2011-03-02T23:49:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty sure I wrote about this before. Maybe as a Facebook note, or perhaps it was in my journal. But either way, I love traveling. There's something incredible about waking up in the morning and not knowing where you will be spending your night. There's something beautiful about traveling God's creation and seeing His work first hand. I love it. For me it's a high. There's a rush to it I can't explain. Trusting your instincts, wandering for hours just exploring where you are, lost in a maze of adventure. If I could, I'd travel the rest of my life. After all, we only pass through this way once.

Being stuck in the States, being without a job has really suffocated me as of late. I don't want to be here, but this is where fate has put me for the time being. I can' fight that, and I don't. I accept it, and work with it, knowing that this pit stop is only temporary on my journey. It makes me appreciate the beauty of the journey only more. The thrill one gets from meeting new people, the laughter that's associated with the stories we encounter, the tears of those we suffer and toil with. All of it resonates within me as I anticipate the next steps I will take. For me, life is an adventure and I am the hero of a story which God is the author. Though the road is bumpy and at times chaos seems to rule, in the end when you've finished the story, you realize that there was a plan all along, and that everything fit into its place.

Looking back into a journal entry that I had written in November in 2008, I wrote that "my life is my amusement and never ceases to be novel. At times it is a dream, a comedy, a tragedy and a romance. It is full of action and adventure. It will make you happy and it will make you sad; laugh and cry; but it will never leave you unsatisfied, never unfulfilled. It gives you wisdom and enjoyment; and, to the best that I am able to, it touches the lives of others in a way that warms them inside and makes them better people." Such is my life, a tale of epic proportions, and I don't deserve it one bit. I have done nothing to deserve it, and yet I am the hero of one of the most incredible stories that I have ever come across. The incredible thing is, we are all heroes in our own lives. Each life is a center of a story in which God is the author. We just need to recognize that. When we do, we understand the chaos that surrounds our lives and are at peace. So many times I worried needlessly when all I had to do was just enter the sweet embrace of my Abba. Life is Love. It is holy and full of joy. We need only to open our heart and mind and see the reality in which we live. At the end of the day, Love wins!

When I travel, I am free. Yet with this freedom comes the daily reminder that I am not in control. We cannot predict the chaos of the next day or control our events, the only thing we can do is know that there is a plan, and not worry. I don't worry. I'm not afraid when I travel. I listen to my heart and let my imagination guide me. I am free like the wind when I travel. For me, traveling is home.

Like a newborn bird
I am eager to take flight.
I close my eyes, open my wings,
and jump.
Letting the wind carry me to the ends of the earth.
Freedom is finally mine.

Everything to Me

2011-02-27T00:13:00.000-05:00

Here I am trapped in this world,
Aching to be free.
My soul is crying
While my spirit is flying
As Christ sets me free.
For He was victorious over me.

And now that I am free,
The Spirit swells within me.
Declaring the Truth about Love
And its power in this world.

For God's Kingdom has descended upon us
And His will is being done in us.
Now let us rise out of this place
and spread the Good News of His Grace.

He heals, convicts, and sets the oppressed free.
He loves, cries, and dances in our eyes.
Without Him who would we be?
He is the Way, the Truth and the Life.
In short, He is everything to me.

I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar

2011-02-26T22:52:00.000-05:00

I am a leaf on the wind,
watch how I soar.
The wind is my sea,
And the trees are my shore.

High above the world I glide,
Sailing through the wings of time.

Freely I floated
And freely I fell,
Carried so gently
That I dare not yell.

Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring,
Beauty and Love are the things I bring.

For I am not my own you see,
For I am nothing don't you see?
And on this Spirit on which I glide,
Gives birth to me and you and all that is alive.

So every time you see me fly,
Please give thanks and don't be shy.
For though my flight will bring me death,
I still enjoy my last breath.

Change

2011-02-26T22:22:00.000-05:00

People change. It’s a fact of life. We experience life uniquely and are actions and reactions to what happens in life are different. Different does not necessarily mean better or worse, but just that they are different, foreign to what we may know. Sometimes, change causes people, i.e. friends, to drift farther apart. Other times, a change is what brings friends closer. As for me, I’ve changed. I’ve changed so much this past year, more so then my whole college experience which was a lot in itself. I’m still changing and I will always be changing. Adapting to this world, bettering myself, and accepting how I am changing. I’m on a journey of self discovery and it is a life-long journey, one in which I will experience many different things.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I don’t consider them failures. I build upon my mistakes, learning from them, and moving beyond them. I am careful not to let the past drag me down. Though sometimes, I do run away for a bit. Not to permanently hide, but to build my strength. I run to God, throwing myself on His mercy and grace, and drown in His love. “For when I am weak, He is strong.”

I’m not a perfect person. But by being a Christian I’ve already confessed I’m not a perfect person. A perfect person wouldn’t need grace. A perfect person wouldn’t need God. I need God and I need His Grace. I am nothing without Him. He loves me, He pours out His grace on me every day for I am a child of grace. But honestly, sometimes I forget that. I forget about God, become conceited and arrogant in my own abilities and abandon Him. I wish I wouldn’t do that. All I want is to be constantly aware of Him. To be aware of His love and grace always engulfing me, never leaving me. I just want to be One with Jesus, with God. Because, in the end, there is only Him. There is no me. There is no I. There is only He.

In worldly standards, I might not be considered much. I look down on money; I want nothing to do with it in fact. I don’t want fame, fortune or power. All I want is to dance in the Love that God has for me and share it with all I come across. For I am His and He is mine and nothing will ever separate us from each other. And that’s the truth. That’s the Good News. God loves you, He died for you. Now bask in the Glory of the Lord. Let His grace rain down upon you and realize the Truth in which you live.

My life is on borrowed time.

Paid for with the blood of the One.

For without Him, I would not be.

So I dedicate my life,

Giving thanks every day,

To Him who died on Calvary.

I AM who I AM

2011-02-24T22:48:00.000-05:00

God create us in His "own image." Why? Why give us His characteristics? Why give us His power? Why give us all the freedom He has and share them with us? Why not make us like animals? Is there something in God's nature that needed others like him? Does He need us to love Him? Why did he create us like Himself?

At this point in time, I don't know. Or if I do I am just not aware of it. But the truth is God did create us like Him. We have everything in common with God. We have His free will. We are in charge of our own destiny. We control the choices we make and even the choices we face. We can choose to be co-creators with the Lord, or destroyers with Satan. We can live in love or we can live in fear. We can reject God or accept Him. For some reason, God created us with the same rights and benefits as Him, and the only answer I have as to why, the only answer that makes sense, is love.

God is love and love is not something to be hoarded or withheld. Its very nature is giving, expansion, freedom.It cannot be contained - it is impossible to do so. Love is uncreated but it created because that is its very essence. Creative Freedom is its nature. God, who is love, created because He was compelled to by his own nature, which is love, and he created us so that He might be loved in return. Not because he needs to be loved, but because he wants to be loved. He wants to share His love because love is sharing. But who could comprehend love other than God? So he created man - in his own image so that love might be shared, so that love might be understood, and felt, and lived, and returned to Him. That is why He created us in His own image. That is why He gave us free will and made us like Him. Love cannot be forced of coerced, it must be accepted freely, and freely given in return. That is the very nature of love, and with it comes the possibility of rejection, hate, fear, and indifference. But love endures all things because it is in all things and it is out of love that all things came. It is the one thing that connects all things. Through love we relate to each other. It is through love that we relate to life, to the universe, and finally to God. Just like God was compelled to create and to share in love, so we too are compelled to create and to share in love as well. That is why God created us and that is why we are here. To be. To just simply be loved and to love in return. And out of love, and through love, and by love, all things come together. For all is one and one is all and we are all united in love.

Flying High

2011-02-22T20:03:00.002-05:00

And if I could find a way,
To make it through every day,
I would soar with head held high,
And fly high into the sky.
But fly high, I cannot,
For I am tangled in a knot,
Woe is me, who will set me free?
It is Christ the King on Calvary.

Broken am I

2011-02-19T22:33:00.000-05:00

Broken is the wind,
On which my spirit soars.
Broken is the path,
On which my body tours.

Broken are the days,
That seem to pass me by.
Broken are the nights,
That seem to taunt my mind.

Broken is the sea,
Which carries my dreams.
Broken is the sky,
If only I could fly.

My mind is aching
My body is shaking
My soul cries
As my Spirit fails to fly
Will this be the day I finally die?

Broken am I

Simply Being

2011-02-04T21:59:00.000-05:00

Is it possible to just be, to just simply be? Is it possible to stop what we are doing and do nothing? Is it possible to just simply be still and know God, to know Reality and Truth?

These are the questions I find myself asking. I look around and see everyone running around to work, to shop, to school and I say what’s the point? Why do we in America have this need, this desire to be constantly moving? Why do we need to be busy or at least seem busy? Who are we trying to impress, ourselves?

We all have identity issues. We all long to be accepted and acknowledged. We all want to feel loved. But in our quest to gain acceptance and love from our fellow brothers and sisters, we turn our backs on God, the Truth and Reality of our circumstances, who loves us just as we are. Throughout the course of our daily schedules and routines we forget to just be and receive and accept the love that God has for us, which is enough to sustain us for all eternity.

Love is our Truth and Reality. It is out of Love that the universe broke forth in blinding light and thunderous noise. It was Love that first formed our world and created all things. Love is the force that binds all things.

Love is Reality and we must break free from the illusion of the world that we have created for ourselves and reclaim this Truth for ourselves. So let us just be, and come to know the Truth and Reality of God.

Who am I?

2011-01-20T20:39:00.002-05:00

There’s a lot I don’t know about life. You might be surprised at this because of the way I live my life but I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know the secret to life. All I have is my identity, who I really am, and I live my life in accordance to it. So, who am I then?

I am a son of the most High God who created me in His own divine image. I am a brother of Jesus Christ and co-heirs with Him. It is because of His loving sacrifice that I share in God’s Grace and take part in the resurrection. Because I am a son of God, I have received the gift of the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ. Through the empowering of the Holy Spirit I am made complete in Christ and strive every day for a closer communion with God. I recognize that every human being is my brother or sister and they too are children of God, whether they realize it or not. As such, God loves them no less than He loves me. I see the Christ inside of them and treat them all with the upmost respect and love. I will do no harm to any person, even if my life or the life of a loved one is threatened, for love has conquered me and now I am its slave. My whole being is consumed by the Love of God and now I work to spread it all over the world. I become poor to help the poor. I suffer with the oppressed to free the oppressed. I endure injustice and all kinds of evil and overcome them with the powerful goodness of love. This is who I am: a broken, sinful man who has recognized his need for God, and as such, reclaimed his true identity through the power of Healing and Forgiveness by Jesus Christ, who being the very nature of God, rejected it to live and suffer with us for a short while so we might live in Joyful existence with Him for all eternity.

I am who I am. And because I know who I am, I do not worry about my life. God is my father and I am His son and God loves me like he loves on one else. He is always by my side. He will never forsake me. Even in the darkest of times he remains my light. He is my strength when I am weak, my food what I am hungry, my warmth when I am cold, my companion when I am lonely. In short, He is my everything and I am His for all eternity.

A Psalm

2011-01-07T11:35:00.003-05:00

There is a happiness that I know,

A union that I seek

That I can only find in You.

So do not turn from me when I call Your name

Or hide when I seek You out.

I search for peace; and I lift my eyes to You knowing that I will find it.
I search for love; and I lift up my hands to You knowing that I will receive it.
I search for hope; and in You I am not disappointed.
You who are Faithful and True, there is none other like You.
May I sing praises to you all the days of my life;
and may I live to glorify You.

Amen

Day 50

2011-01-07T11:34:00.000-05:00

I hope you have enjoyed reading this. I hoped it has helped you in some way. Somehow I have nothing to say on this last day other than this:

I don't have all the answers but I know the one who does. He answers all of our prayers in His own time and He reveals everything to us in His own time. He confirms truth and love because they can only come from Him. He will never leave your, nor will He forsake you. He loves you, and so do I.

May the Peace of God always be with you and may His will be done in your life, always. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. I am truly blessed to have you in my life.

Love Always,
Christian

Day 49

2011-01-07T11:28:00.000-05:00

At some point in our lives we have all prayed to God asking what His will is for us. And sometimes we don't get the answers that we expected. We will ask "where" he wants us to go but He will answer with "what" he wants us to do. Other times we will ask "what" he wants us to do and He will answer with "who."

I don't know what, or where, or when. But I trust in the Lord that He will answer me. Maybe I've been asking the wrong questions. Instead of what or where, maybe I should have been asking who. Maybe that who is you.

Day 48

2011-01-06T12:17:00.000-05:00

When God is calling you to do something - do it. Brush aside your fears and brush aside your worries. If God is truly calling you to do something then do it. For He will be with you and see you through it.

Now how do we know what His will is for us? How do we know He is calling us? Through prayer. He does answer. He answers on His own time and when He answers you will know it.

A faithful disciple is one who is obedient to the call of the Lord. If God is telling you to do something, do it!

"Come, follow me," Jesus said,...At once they left their nets and followed Him.

Matthew 4:19-20

Day 47

2011-01-06T12:14:00.000-05:00

Fear is the "mind killer". It will drive you crazy.

Fear is caused by worrying which is why Jesus told us to "do not worry." We worry about what we have no control over and that sparks the fear inside us. The truth is we have control over nothing in our lives. But this is not cause for worrying but cause for celebration. As Christians we turn our lives over to Christ and let go of everything. Thus we have nothing to worry about because God is in the drivers seat.

Do not worry. Do not let fear take a hold of you. Rejoice in your surrender to the Lord. For He has great things planned for you.

Day 46

2011-01-04T21:23:00.000-05:00

No matter what you go through in life, Jesus will always be by your side. When you are suffering, and everyone has abandoned you, Jesus will still be there. He is there now!

I cannot stress how important it is that you remember that. Always stay strong in your faith and know that He is there. Do not make the same mistakes that I have made. Self-pity is the devil. Stand firm in Christ. His Grace is enough.

My savior loves, my savior lives, my savior's always there for me.

Aaron Shust

Day 45

2011-01-03T23:33:00.000-05:00

Nothing good has ever come from violence. What has violence ever solved?

As Christians, we are told to follow Jesus' example of non-violence and to love our enemies. Now, I have struggled with this for about a year now and more and more I am convinced that violence is never the answer. Nothing good has ever come from the use of violence-only hate and suffering.

Jesus tells us to love our enemies but if we go to war how is that showing love to our enemies. Violence only sets the oppressed free, never the oppressor.

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Matthew 5:44

Day 44

2011-01-02T20:35:00.001-05:00

There is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. You can be in love without loving, but if you love you will always be in love. After all, true love is recognizing Jesus in another person.

You see, love comes from God and the only way to God is through Jesus and so the only way that we know true love is through Jesus in us. That is why when you love you must love in Christ because there is no love outside of Christ.

If you truly love someone and see Jesus in the other person you will always be in love because you will always see Jesus in the other person.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us.

1 John 4:16-17

Day 43

2011-01-01T14:52:00.000-05:00

True love is recognizing Jesus in the other person. That is what means to truly love someone.

I see Jesus in you. I see His traits in you by how you act. You reflect His beauty. In your face I see it. You are more beautiful than a thousand sun rises and sunsets at once. Whenever I see you you are glowing like the moon is constantly shining down on you. But I know that it is His light that is shining on you.

You are an inspiration to me. You bring out the best of me and when I am with you I feel like I can accomplish anything in the world. All because I see Jesus in you. All because I love you and that's the simple truth.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.

John 8:32

Day 42

2011-01-01T14:46:00.000-05:00

I have said that faith is believing despite the doubts, and despite your fears. Ever since the eight grade I have had one dream: to have a family of my own-a beautiful and loving wife and kids. To love and be loved in return.

I still have that dream I still have that hope. But following Christ is about giving up everything for Him. Surrendering to His will.

Each day I surrender myself to the Lord and each day I pray for my dream and I end it by saying, "Your will be done Lord, not mine." I don't know if my dream will come true or not but regardless I will have faith in the Lord.

Tonight I pray that we will always have faith in the Lord and in His plan. And that we follow his will-despite our doubts and our fears even if it means giving up our dreams for His.

Day 41

2010-12-30T20:31:00.000-05:00

If we have faith then we will obey God. We know that He knows what's best for us and that He wil never forsake us. But how do we know what God wants us to do?

Sometimes the hardest thing I have trouble with is understanding what God wants me to do with my life. Sometimes, I just don't know. And sometimes, we thing we know and it turns out we were wrong.

I don't know what God wants me to do with my life. Sometimes I mes us and make mistakes. Regardless, I press onward trusting in God knowing that He will answer my prayers and reveal His will to me in His own time.

...Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Matthew 6:10

Day 40

2010-12-29T11:57:00.000-05:00

I'm not a saint. I doubt, I curse and I sin. At times I am jealous and at times I am apathetic. The truth is I'm a terrible person. I sin in thought, word and deed.

However, the world would say that I am a good person. But God doesn't judge by the world's standards. If someone freezes to death and I have an extra jacket or sweatshirt in my closet I might as well be guilty of murder. Likewise if a child starves to death and I am hoarding food, again I am guilty.

Despite all of my flaws and failures I do my best to do what is right. I do my best to love my neighbor as myself and I do my best to love myself. You should too. In fact, everyone should. When love is truly practiced, poverty and hunger will be no more.

I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.

Matthew 25:40

Day 39

2010-12-28T22:30:00.000-05:00

You are either a Christian or you're not. There is no such thing as the Christian Left or the Christian Right. You either follow Jesus or you don't.

The "Church" is too divided these days with different denominations and definitions of what it means to be a Christian.There was a reason the early Christians were called "followers of the way." As Christians we must remember it is Jesus who we follow - not some doctrine or certain values and beliefs but Jesus Himself.

You either follow Jesus completely, surrendering your life to His will or you don't. Remember in Revelation Jesus spits out those who are lukewarm,

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.

John 14:6

Day 38

2010-12-27T19:49:00.000-05:00

If there is anything that I have learned about myself on this trip, it is that I need to live by faith more and completely trust in God.

It is easy to do that in Africa, especially when you are in a small town but is it a lot harder to do that in America. Life is so fast-paced there and because it is the "land of opportunity," most people believe they can accomplish anything by themselves. The system is set up in a way that people think they don't need God.

God is by our side every moment of our life. We need to recognize this and be in constant communication with Him through worship, praises, and prayer. Without Him we are nothing.

With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

Matthew 19:26

Day 37

2010-12-26T12:15:00.000-05:00

God provides everything in your life. If you should find yourself lacking something, pray earnestly to the Lord for it and He will grant it. There are countless stories in the Bible of His faithfulness. If you pray, and believe in the Lord that He will grant you this then He will. Do not doubt. Just believe!

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him

1 Samuel 1:27

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

Mark 11:24

Day 36

2010-12-26T12:12:00.000-05:00

It is important to live out our faith each and everyday, in all that we do. Bu imitating Christ and living by faith God's light will shine on us and all will see that we have the Holy Spirit in us.

But all too often the world stops us from living by faith. It distracts us from Christ and wants us to put our faith and hope in things and people of this world. But we must be strong and resist the temptations and distractions of this world. For our faith is in God and our hope is in the resurrection of Christ Jesus.

We must live by faith. We have to live in Christ and He in us so that we may be a light to this dark world.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

Day 35

2010-12-26T12:08:00.000-05:00

Patience is a virtue; and it's one of the hardest to master. I've learned a lot about patience in Africa, and I can say that when you wait patiently for something you really want, it makes it more rewarding when you get it.

We must have patience with the Lord. We have to remember that the Lord works on His time and not ours. We must wait patiently on the Lord and trust in Him.

It's hard to learn patience; it's even harder to master it. I've learned a lot this summer but I can still be impatient. What is important to remember is that everything will be accomplished on God's time.

The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.

Lamentations 3:40

Therefore, be patient in all that you do.

Day 34

2010-12-26T12:05:00.000-05:00

What is love? True love comes not from man but is place in our hearts by God. We know it to be true love and of God by the characteristics it exhibits in us. It is patient, kind, it does not envy or boast. It is not proud.

When God puts true love in our hearts it will never fail or die. We will always love who God is telling us to love even if we are not loved back.

That is true love. It comes from God and it is real. I love you.

Love comes from God...because God is love.

1 John 4:7, 8

Day 33

2010-12-26T12:02:00.000-05:00

"Forgiveness is love in its most noble form." "When you forgive, you love; and when you love, God's light shines down on you."

We all sin, we all make mistakes, we all mess up. When we do, we should immediately acknowledge it and ask for forgiveness, and as Christians we should forgive those who wrong us. But if someone does not apologize or acknowledge a sin they committed, we should still love them and pray that our brother or sister will see where he is in error and repent.

I am sorry for causing you to worry or ever stressing you out. I am sorry for not always being there and I am sorry for not being the friend that you deserve. You deserve better. I am sorry for all these things and many, many more. With sincere love, I am sorry.

Day 32

2010-12-21T15:36:00.000-05:00

If you ever need anything in life, pray for it. The Lord will hear your prayers and answer you. Maybe not in your time or the way you wanted but He will answer you. He will never forsake us. So whatever you need, lift it up to God and pray, and when He has answered you give thanks. For He knows us better than we know ourselves.

When I pray, I pray that you will come to know God as I have; and one day I hope to share our relationship with God with each other and grow together in His guidance and in His love. I pray that we might become one with Him.

Ask and it will be given to you, Seek and you will find, Knock and the door will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7

Day 31

2010-12-21T15:31:00.000-05:00

God loves you and nothing will ever change that. He loves your friends and your enemies. God loves all things because he created all things. There is no thing that he has created that he does not love.

No matter what you do God will always love you. But that doesn't mean that we should ignore Him or take advantage of His love. On the contrary, we should praise Him all the more and glorify His name by loving as he loves: unconditionally toward all creation. God loves us and nothing will change that. So let us love what God loves and never stop.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

Day 30

2010-12-21T15:25:00.000-05:00

Our God is faithful! Our God always keeps his word and never abandons us. So whenever doubt creeps in on you, brush it aside because our God is faithful!

Praise God! Praise Him everyday and give thanks to Him! God is always by our side, Jesus is with us-that's pretty awesome! God loves us so, so much that He is with us always and is always faithful. Remember that the next time life throws a curve ball your way or you are struggling with life: Jesus is with you, and he will never, never leave you!

If God is for us, who can be against us?

Romans 8:31

Day 29

2010-12-18T14:48:00.000-05:00

Love. No matter what you do, whether big or small, it should be done out of love. Sometimes, love requires that we make sacrifices in our lives. But if it is done truly out of love you will not view it as a sacrifice but as a gift.

Whatever you choose to do in life, do it with all your heart and do it out of love. By doing so you will start a tiny ripple of hope. This ripple will then turn into a wave with wonderful outcomes that you will not even see!

So do everything out of love, and pour your whole heart into it.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3

Day 28

2010-12-17T14:45:00.000-05:00

I have seen the face of God and I have talked to Him! He is the stranger sitting next to you on the bus and the neighbor jogging around the block. God is in everything and in everyone! He reveals himself in His creation!

God wants us to be in relationship with Him. He reveals himself-his full majesty and glory everyday in His creation. He is in you and in me! We can become one with Him if we remember that He surrounds us and is Within us! Praise God! For this should be the goal of every human being: to be one with the heavenly father.

I pray...that they may be one as we are one.

John 17:20, 22

Day 27

2010-12-16T00:41:00.000-05:00

It is said that a husband should love his wife, but what is love? Is love just between a man and a woman? No! It is between man, woman, and God. A husband and wife should love each other and God; but also love each other in God because God is love. Without God there can be no real love.

Love in God. Whoever you choose to love, love each other in God. It is beautiful, it is pure, it is complete.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:7-8

Day 26

2010-12-16T00:35:00.000-05:00

The hardest thing about having faith is having faith. We believe and yet we doubt. We doubt that God is who He says He is and we doubt all that He can do.

At times it can be good to question God. It is by asking that we receive. But remember we have no right to question His will. He is the creator of the universe, who are we to question His plan?

We have faith and yet we doubt. This should not be the case! There is no reason why we should doubt our Lord. Our God is faithful!

O you of little faith, why do you doubt?

Matthew 14:31

Day 25

2010-12-14T13:25:00.000-05:00

Everyday we receive a blessing from God. Each and everyday He blesses our lives. But all to often we ignore it and fail to see him at work in our lives. We say we did it all on our own and fail to thank Him.

Look around you. Look at your life and you will see the many blessings he has poured out onto you. He has blessed me everyday and though I do not deserve it, I accept it and thank Him. In all that I do I thank Him because everything I do is blessed by Him.

Recognize the blessings in your life, and give thanks to God everyday.

The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made.

Psalm 145:13

Day 24

2010-12-13T11:09:00.000-05:00

It does not matter what others think of you. It does not even matter what you think of yourself. What matters is that God believes in you. Know this, trust this, live this.

God believes in you! Not only does he believe in you but he loves you. He is especially fond of you and wants to use you to accomplish His will. You just have to accept it and commit yourself to Him.

God believes in you, and so do I.

Day 23

2010-12-12T22:32:00.000-05:00

It has often been said that it is easier to die for something than to live for something. Well, I live for Christ. In all that I do, with every ounce of energy that I have, I do my best to live for Him.

I encourage you to live for Christ. Lay down your life for Him and surrender to His will. The hardest part is committing yourself to surrender to His will. But once you do, God will immediately start working in and through you. He will open up doors and constantly work wonders in your life.

If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Mathew 16:24

Day 22

2010-12-11T09:59:00.000-05:00

When God created the world he did not create ugly. Ugly does not exist. With God there is only beauty. When humans call something ugly it is because they are not seeing through God's eyes.

Look all around you. Not with your eyes but with your heart. When you see with your heart you see with God's eyes. Everything is beautiful because everything is here by God's design. God's hand can be seen in all of creation.

Remember that everything is beautiful and that everything is cherished by God.

How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.

Song of Songs 1:15

Day 21

2010-12-10T00:25:00.000-05:00

Be confident, look the world straight in the eye!

No one knows what tomorrow might bring. It might be worse than today, or, it might be better. Regardless of what the world throws your way, be confident in your actions, trust in the Lord, and face the world head on! The only difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is how you use them.

Take courage! Know that the Lord is always with you.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect if weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Day 20

2010-12-10T00:22:00.000-05:00

It's a relationship, not a religion. Christianity is not about just worshiping and praising God but about being in relationship with Him. To know Him, to love Him, to trust Him. God created us to be in a relationship with Him. A relationship with Him is a truly equal relationship. There are no hierarchies, it is a true friendship.

In fact, life itself is about relationships. It is relationship. Relations with family, friends, strangers. God wants us to love everyone and live in communion with one another. A community of love.

You are my friends if you do what I command

John 15:14

Day 19

2010-12-10T00:17:00.000-05:00

To say we love is not enough. We must show it, we must live it out. If we do not then we are hypocrites. We must show love by our actions. If we love Jesus then let us show him that we love Him. Let us feed the hungry, clothe the poor, and shelter the homeless. We can only show love by loving.

To often in our day and age we think saying "I love you" is enough to show love. But it is not.

Live a life of love, and you will be blessed in all that you do.

Dear Children, let us not love in words or by tongue but in action and in truth.

1 John 3:18

Day 18

2010-12-07T13:22:00.000-05:00

Life is not about happiness. It is not about success. It is not about being better than your neighbor. Life is about Love. Loving God, loving your neighbor, and loving yourself. without love there is nothing.

Love is our reason for being. It is the reason for everything. God created out of love and he poured His love into His creation. Love is all around us and surrounds us wherever we go. Love knows no bounds.

So let us embrace love. Let us give love and receive love wherever we go. For God is love; and when you love, God's light shines on you.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us...Love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

1 John 3:16, 4:7

Day 17

2010-12-07T13:18:00.000-05:00

I'm not perfect. I confess to you that I have not lived a Christian life. I confess to you that I have not lived up to the ideals of Jesus Christ. I have hated my neighbor and have not loved as Christ has loved. I confess that I am selfish, impatient and jealous. I confess that I have misrepresented Jesus and I am sorry.

We need to confess our sins, not just to God but to each other. Being a Christian isn't about doing what's right and convincing others to agree with you. It is about Jesus Christ. It's about glorifying Him and following Him and loving as He loves no matter what the cost.

I confess that I haven't loved you as I should and I am sorry.

Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.

Psalm 51:4

Day 16

2010-12-07T13:13:00.000-05:00

To know God is to love. What better way to show our love than by sharing God with the world? Live a life of love and share God with everyone you come across. God is awesome and His love is amazing! Let us shout and sing praises to Him all day long! Let us bring the joy of His grace to all peoples.

There are many people who do not know about God's love for them. Since to know God is to love, let us love each and every person and show them what God's love really is.

"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in You, I will sing praise to your name, O Most High"

Psalm 9:1-2

Day 15

2010-12-03T14:14:00.000-05:00

God is sacred. Treat Him as such. Revere Him. Respect Him. Love Him. Knowing this is one thing but doing it is another. It is a lot harder. It is important that we practice it. After all, God made everything. He made us! He is holy and sacred. He is always with you. Walk blamelessly before him in faith, and remember that your are alive because of Him.

The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.

Psalm 24:1

Day 14

2010-12-03T14:11:00.000-05:00

Focus on God. Your relationship with Him is the only one that matters. I forget this a lot, everyone does. It's tough and it's hard to do sometimes but we must make our relationship with God a priority in our life. People always say that they would but that they are too busy. That is not a reason but an excuse. God deserves our time and so we must make time for Him.

Jesus' first commandment to us is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength." He must be first in your life just like He must be first in my life. Make time for Him and He will do wonders with your life.

To You, O Lord I lift up my soul.

Psalm 25:1

Day 13

2010-12-01T13:40:00.000-05:00

God has a plan for you. He has a plan for everyone. We don’t always know what His plan for us is but we know that as long as we are alive, He is using us. But just because He has a plan for us doesn’t always mean He is definitively going to use us. We must choose Him and let Him work through us. To let go and let God.

It’s hard to let go and let God. Believe me I know. We have our doubts and fears and are afraid of getting hurt. But when you let go and let God work his magic in you, when His Holy Spirit works in you it is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Trust in God and trust in His plan for you.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

Day 12

2010-11-30T09:29:00.000-05:00

Family is important. I know you already know this but never forget it. I have and I felt terrible about it. I still feel terrible. All the times I talked back and acted like a little brat, all the times I was bitter towards them. I feel terrible. Only now have I begun to see how important family is.

Family is home. Family is Peace. Family is Love. Love your family because they love you. It’s the truth. They might not always act like it but they love you.

Our lives are too short to forsake our families and go it alone on our own. Cherish the time you spend with your family because in a blink of an eye they can be taken from you.

Day 11

2010-11-30T09:28:00.000-05:00

Faith is not the absence of doubt but the belief despite the doubts. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laid awake at night wondering, worrying, doubting. It happens to everyone. Having real faith is believing despite your doubts and fears. I have faith and so I have hope. Hope in you, hope in us, hope in everyone.

Never lose your faith. Never give up hope. God is always by your side and he will never forsake you. Trust in Him and His plan. Everything is going to be alright. Believe me I know, I’ve been through this many time before. You just have to let go and let God.

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

Day 10

2010-11-28T10:20:00.000-05:00

Take time to enjoy life. In this society we find life passing us by because we are always in a hurry to do this or that. We forget that no matter what we accomplish in this life every person suffers the same fate. Whether we are rich or poor, happy or sad, we all die and leave this place behind.

Slow your life down. Take time to experience and enjoy God’s creation. Relax, and stop worrying about what needs to get done. It is not important. Whether it gets done or not you will still have to face death sometime. So take the time you have to enjoy the present and live with God in the moment. Because in reality, that is all we ever have.

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them.”

Ecclesiastes 12:1

Day 9

2010-11-28T10:19:00.000-05:00

Stop! Take a deep breath and look all around you. Everything you see, every person, every creature, everything is God’s. We are all His creation and He loves each and every one of us! Isn’t that so awesome?! From the tiniest organism to the tallest mountain, everything is His!

We all forget this at times in our life. That is why it is important to make time for God and just be still for five minutes and listen to Him. He will speak to you, trust me. He has spoken to me and I am far less deserving than you. So stop what you are doing and just listen to God. Hear what he has to say to you.

Love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength; and love your neighbor as yourself.

Luke 10:27

Day 8

2010-11-26T19:20:00.000-05:00

Love. It’s God’s greatest gift to us. His love is so amazing, so unfathomable, so awe-inspiring. Honestly, it’s the greatest feeling that I have ever felt. I know it’s yours too. No matter what we do; no matter how many times we fail, or how many times we mess up, God will always love us. His love is unending, it knows no bounds.

Love God. Love him with all your heart. Love Him, cherish Him, be true to Him. Share His love with everyone you come across. It is the greatest gift anyone can receive. One day, I hope to share the love God has given me with all of you. It is so tranquil, so indescribable. It is the most beautiful thing ever. His love is greater than life itself and if I could, I would drown in the sea of His love because life without love is not life

Pursue the Love of God! Let it consume you and let it engulf you. Drown in the fire of His Love and burn in the Sea of Compassion. A life without Love is not worth living.

I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.

Psalm 89:1

Day 7

2010-11-25T22:00:00.000-05:00

Life throws us a curve ball every now and then. We suddenly find ourselves in a position or situation we were not expecting. Sometimes, we find ourselves facing a giant monster or we are entrapped by a wall that surrounds us.

Whatever life throws at you, be it obstacles or tribulations or whatever; know that God will not forsake you and that He will always be by your side. Trust in Him and He will get you through this rough spot in your life.

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13

Day 6

2010-11-24T15:47:00.000-05:00

God is amazing! The love he has for us is incomprehensible and awe-inspiring. He loves us no matter what. He will never stop loving us. Despite the fact that we are all sinners and are so undeserving of His love, he still loves us! Even though we constantly sin against Him alone, he never stops loving us!

That is awesome and amazing! Think about it. Really think about it. Could you ever love someone that much? Could you ever love like God loves? Now could you ever love all humans like God loves them?

You can, but not until you come to know Christ. Jesus is the answer, and if you just open your heart to Him and surrender all to Him, He will blow your mind away and change you in ways you never thought possible.

For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

Day 5

2010-11-23T13:39:00.002-05:00

There are times in our lives when we forget about Jesus and think that we can accomplish something without Him. We forget that our own strength is nothing compared to the strength of Christ and of the Holy Spirit, that without Jesus, we are nothing. And without Jesus we are nothing!

Remember that all things are possible in Christ. Even what seems impossible to us because nothing is impossible for Christ. So trust in Him and have faith. Even faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. And it can!

I have travelled down the road without God before-and it is a brutal one. One in which I promise you that you will regret it if you do travel down it. We are nothing without Christ and if we think we can achieve anything by ourselves we are greatly mistaken. For He is our creator and the reason why we are alive today. Trust in God, and follow in His light.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Day 4

2010-11-22T20:50:00.002-05:00

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify. In this day and age all too often we spend our time focusing on our own wants instead of our own needs. Instead of loving our neighbor we try to do better than him. We focus on this world instead of the next and by doing do we lost our soul somewhere in the middle.

We must not let this happen. We must simplify our lives and trust in the Lord. He loves us all and will never forsake us. He is always by our side. Do not worry about life, for God know us better than we know ourselves.

Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:25, 33

Day 3

2010-11-21T12:52:00.002-05:00

Life is a struggle. Every day we are faced with fears and doubts. Even Saints with the strongest faith face them. But do not lose hope! For suffering and tribulation leads to perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does disappoint, especially when we hope in Christ.

Never give up hope and never lose faith in Jesus Christ. I know it will be difficult. I’ve been down this road before. But believe me when I tell you that the reward is great.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Day 2

2010-11-21T12:51:00.000-05:00

To experience nature is to experience God. Technology consumes our lives these days and while it has brought forth many advantages in the areas of science and medicine, it can corrupt our time with God. Be wary of television and the internet. Let it not distract you from walking with Christ and serving Him.

Rather, go outdoors, away from technology. It is there that you will experience the awesome wonder of God; His beauty, His intelligence, His love. Walk with Him in His creation and He will humble you. To experience nature it to experience God; and to experience god is to learn how to love. For God is love.

Lord of all creation, of water, earth and sky….you are Holy, Holy,…Lord of Heaven and Earth.

God of Wonders

Fifty days of reflection: The summer of 2009

2010-11-19T11:31:00.001-05:00

The first time I went to Sudan I kept two journals. One was just a regular one that I kept for myself, but the other, I kept as a reflection journal on life that I was going to give to a friend when I had returned from Sudan. For fifty days I would write in this journal, one reflection for each day. For the next fifty days I am going to post what I wrote in the journal. Some of it word for word, sometimes elaborating where necessary. Starting with today, you will be able to catch a glimpse of my thoughts on life as I was in Sudan during the Summer of 2009. Though I was living in Sudan, most of my reflection is on life in general, and Sudan is rarely mentioned.

Day 1

Every day is a gift from God, and every minute is a blessing. Life is a gift from God and must not be taken for granted. But in our busy schedules of our everyday lives, we often forget this and become stuck in our own routine. When this happens we lose touch with God and forget Him. Our lives become stressed and we worry about things that did not worry us before.

Do not become stuck in routine and to not forget the Lord our Creator. It is because of Him that we have life. Be spontaneous in life and do something new and different each day. Don’t get bogged down in routine! Take time each morning to give thanks to God and to sing praises to Him. Not only will it lift you up but it will brighten your day as well.

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

Following our own Paths

2010-09-11T17:31:00.000-04:00

I came across this writing by the Sufi sage Hafik. It is important to remember that each of us have our own journey, and our own path to follow. To go on any other journey than are own is certainly doomed to failure. We must each follow what is ours, and obey the will of our Father. This is what I am learning: the paths that we want to follow may not necessarily be our paths to follow. We must go where our journey takes us and obey it. To do otherwise leads only to heartbreak and failure.

"Accept with wisdom the fact that the Path is full of contradictions. Many times the Path will contradict itself, just to stimulate the passenger to discover what will happen at the next curve. If two travelers take this journey together, it is almost certain that one of them is on the wrong Path. Each person must run his own risks along his Way, because there are no set formulas to achieving the Truth. Only the ignorant try to imitate the ways of others. The intelligent men don’t waste their time with that, and develop their own set of skills. They know that no two leaves in the forest of a million trees are exactly the same. No two Paths on the Journey of Life are exactly the same.”

The Most Important Relationship

2010-09-04T02:55:00.000-04:00

The most important relationship in our lives is our relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. It is that relationship that we must maintain and keep right at all times no matter what the cost, because the minute our relationship with Christ is not right, we stumble and our lives are not complete.

I am returning to America to pursue my relationship with Christ. To strengthen it, refine it, and to become closer to God. If my relationship isn't solid in Christ, how can I accomplish what He has called me to do? I return from the front lines to re-equip myself and to refine my character in Christ. After which, I prayerfully hope and plan to return back to Sudan and East Africa. East Africa, and Sudan in particularly holds a special place in my heart, and has become my home away from home. It breaks my heart that I have to leave but I know that in doing so I will become stronger in Christ and will be better able to further His cause.

Going Home: The Faith to Persevere

2010-08-29T14:31:00.000-04:00

I’m not gonna sugar-coat this blog post. I am heading home-back to America. Why? Because I messed up. Though God is calling me to missions and to Southern Sudan in particular as well as the Cornerstone Children’s Home, I failed to prepare myself spiritually for the struggles that I would face in Sudan. While I was over there I neglected my relationship with God and became caught up in my own work that I was doing that I tried to go it alone. Not because it was what I wanted but because I was spiritually weak and Evil saw its chance.

I was tempted. I gave in.

I stumbled.

I fell.

I failed…

But even failure in God’s eyes is not failure. Because even though I fell, even though I stumbled and failed, I became a broken person and remembered who God is. He is Love. He is Mercy. He is forgiveness. He is healing.

God allowed this to happen because he needed me to break. He needed me to become broken so he could come back into my life and mend our broken relationship. He made things right; through the Light of his Son and the Power of the Holy Spirit. He made everything beautiful and rekindled the fire within me. I know Him and am continuing to know Him and grow in Him. God isn’t an idea or an ideal. He is a living person who is in constant relationship with us and wants us to be inconstant relationship with him.

I know my mistakes. I am rectifying them and growing ever closer to God. As Psalm 63 states

O God, You are my God,

Earnestly I seek You;

My soul thirsts for You,

My Body longs for you,

In a dry and weary land

Where there is no water.

He is my God and I wish to be in constant communion with Him. I want Him as a lover wants his beloved. I seek Him everywhere because as it states later on in the Psalm, “Your love is better than life.” His love is better than life itself. That is an incredible statement and when you think about it, it’s true. He loves, he loves each of us and that is so much better than any life. To be drowned in His love is my desire. To constantly experience what it feels like to be in His presence and share it is my wish.

You are probably thinking to yourself, ‘well yes, you messed up, but if this incredible thing has happened to you while you were over there, why don’t you stay there?’ You see, it is not God’s will for us to go over there and preach or to go over here and do this or that. We are His will. God created us. He formed us. He knew us before we even existed. He has a plan for us. We are His will because he created us. He is the creator of everything; he breathed Life-spirit into us; if it was not His will for us to be born than we would have never been. I have come to realize that I am God’s will and that he desires me to be in right relationship with Him. And when I am in right relationship with Him, his will is complete in my life because of that right relationship. So even though I do not want to leave this place, -even though it breaks my heart to leave my children, to leave my brothers and sisters and my sons and daughters, I must obey the call of the Lord and follow him, not as I would have it but the way He wants it. These are the front lines of the battlefield between good and evil. I know that I will be back someday, but for now I must come back home.

“Though He slay me, yet I will trust Him” (Job 13:15)

Leaving my children causes me great heartache, more than some can imagine. But though the Lord slays me down, strips me naked and takes away my dreams and goals, I will trust Him and remain faithful. Oswald Chambers call this the Faith to Persevere. He describes it like this:

A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, “I can’t take any more.” Yet God pays no attention; He goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly.

God’s purpose is for us to know Him. He wants us to be confident in our faith as we continue to grow in Him. We must maintain our intimate relationship with God no matter what the cost is. If that begins to slip, nothing will be right with our lives until we fix it. Eternal life is not something that we inherit after we die, but something we begin to experience right here and now. As it is written in the Gospel of John, “This is eternal life, that we may know You.” Oswald Chambers explains it this way:

The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything is has to face without wavering. If we will take this view, life will become one great romance-a glorious opportunity of seeing wonderful things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power. (Which is knowing Him.)

So I am heading home. Not because I want to become perfect like God. That is not His will for any of us. His will is for us to be one with Him. I am heading Home because that is where the Spirit is leading me. I know that one day I will be back. But for now I must leave. And though it kills me, I will continue to trust in Him. So while I am back home, please don’t send me donations or support checks. If you wish to help out the ministry here and the orphans, you can go to www.fulaalifeline.org or www.cornerstone-friends.org to find out how you can help. As this blog is titled “Following Jesus,” I will still update it periodically even though I will no longer be in Sudan. After all, each day is a brand new experience with Jesus. I don’t know what God has planned for my future, but I continue to trust in Him as I move forward and live my life.

Update

2010-07-20T09:38:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone! I hope you are all enjoying the summer in America. Here is an update with my programs over here.

The mentoring program is well underway. We are on our fourth week of individual meetings and I am gradually preparing the way for the group meetings to slowly begin as well. I had an extra hundred dollars left over from my travels and so I used that to purchase some bibles for the Children and the Church. Things are off to a great start and I can’t wait to see what else God has planned for the discipleship program! As for the Sunday School program, I have met with the one teacher and am in the process of training him and working out lesson plans with him. Hopefully, in a few months when he has that down we can recruit more members from the church and train them to be teachers too!

With the money that donors like you have supported me with, I recently purchased sporting equipment for the orphanage from Uganda. We now have three footballs (soccer) 2 volleyballs and a volleyball net. The kids love volleyball! It’s been real fun to play with them and teach them some of the fundamentals of the game. I also spent money to fix one of the guitars here as well. Thanks for your support!

As for the music ministry that I am running, lessons started this week. We have a total of three acoustic guitars for the kids to practice on and a keyboard that the church uses. However, the keyboard is old and does not run on batteries anymore and not all the keys work. This is what I want to purchase next for the orphanage, an inexpensive keyboard for lessons and worship. I am looking to raising somewhere between 200-300 USD. If you are interested in helping out at all, please make checks payable to Cornerstone Friends and send them to:

Cornerstone Friends

c/o Ini Ekiko

2181 S. Troy Way Unit 104

Aurora, CO 80014.

Don’t forget to put my name in the memo line.

Life here has been good. Recently, a football match was played with the parents/staff vs. the children. The parents/staff won 3-1. A few more of these matches are scheduled to take place in the near future. (If internet wasn't slow I would post pictures but since it is the pictures will have to wait. But I do promise to post a whole bunch of pictures soon.) I hope everyone is enjoying the summer over in America and I hope all is well. Please stay in touch.

Blessings of Peace and Love,

Christian

Faith, Forgiveness and Love

2010-07-15T09:18:00.000-04:00

I once heard it said that forgiveness was love in its most noble form. The bible talks a lot about love…it also talks a lot about forgiveness. You see, love and forgiveness go hand in hand. You cannot forgive without love, and you cannot love without forgiveness.

Colossians 3:13 says that I need to “forgive as Christ forgave me.” In Matthew 18:22 Jesus extols us to forgive seventy times seven times. These verses and many others explain how as followers of Christ we are not to hold grudges. They tell us how we are not to retaliate and how we are to love. But if Christianity is founded upon the basis of love and forgiveness, then how come most Christians (and most Christian nations) do not practice love and forgiveness. How many of us, when someone wrongs us want to seek justice and revenge? If the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon are any indication, we over retaliate and often do more harm than good. The Christian response to such an attack should be (and must be if we want to overcome evil) one of love and forgiveness. If George W. Bush (and by that I mean America) had came out on September 12 forgiving Osama Bin Laden and following the example of Jesus, the world would be a different place than it is today. For starters, leaders of nations such as Iran and Venezuela would have no reason to call us “The Great Devil.” But instead of a response of love and forgiveness, we retaliated. We retaliated not just against the Taliban and Al-Quaeda, but also against Saddam and Iraq for reasons that are beyond my comprehension. (You know what I mean)…So much for following Christ.

We confess our faith in Christ with our mouths, but are actions and deeds say otherwise. We say we love and forgive but we don’t really mean it. If someone wrongs us, we want justice. We say I’ll forgive you IF or I’ll forgive you BUT. We don’t just forgive. Christ forgives though. The best part about his forgiveness is that we don’t deserve it, we cannot earn it, and we just have to accept it. If we are called to forgive as Christ forgives then the jail cells in America would be a lot less crowded, there would be a lot less lawsuits and people suing each other, and oh yeah, there would be no war. If we are to forgive as Christ forgives, and love as Christ loves, which is unconditionally, then we must discipline ourselves and follow in his way. What I speak of is written plainly in the Bible. Read it for yourselves. You don’t need to take my word for it. Read it for yourselves and let the very being of your existence confirm it in the Holy Spirit. Jesus called for his followers to live a new type of life and so in order to please him, in order to do the will of our Father who is in heaven, we must love and forgive and live as Christ Jesus did.

In Matthew 7:21-22, Jesus says, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers.’”

My brothers and sisters you deceive yourselves if you think faith can save you without action. Faith is made complete by action. Fools! What good is it to say I believe and then act contrary to what you have said? We mustn’t get caught up in the hypocrisy of our age. Instead, we must rise above and let our lights shine by humbling ourselves as God humbled himself when he came to live among us 2,000 years ago. We must imitate Christ’s humility. Not only that but we must follow his example to the letter. We must not judge. We must not swear oaths. We must not divorce. We must love our enemies and we must not resist evil violently. We must forgive anyone and everyone who wrongs us. We cannot hesitate or wait. We must love everyone unconditionally. For that is the only way to love. It is how God loves us and it is how we are to love. What sane man would show his love for his mother by killing her? Why then do we go abroad killing those who have not wronged us? Why do we say we must kill the enemy? We are told to love our enemy. In fact, the minute you love your enemy he is no longer your enemy. But this is nothing new. What I am saying here has been said since the beginning of time. Did not God protect Cain after he murdered Abel so the vicious cycle that is violence not be continued? But what is done is done.

We must love fearlessly. We must love boldly. We must love courageously. We must love humbly. We must love unconditionally. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said that the only way to drive out hate is to love. Paul tells us in Romans that the only way to overcome evil is to do good and to love. So why then are we not living a life of love? Why then are we perpetuating systems of selfishness and poverty? Why then are we not doing more? Why then, when the drums of war beat, the Church and its members (generally speaking) get behind the army and the governments and say that it is ok. Where is their conviction?! Where is your conviction?! We claim that we live for Christ, but the minute living for Christ means it would cost us our life we run in the other direction. We, like Peter, deny Christ.

Well no more! The ways of hypocrisy are over! A love revolution is upon us and we must embrace it! We must surrender ourselves over to God and walk in the Light as Christ is in the Light. We must put away this cheap grace for the true Cross. Where there is war, Christ is not there. Where there is hate, he is absent. We must follow the Prophet Dr. King and Love ineffably. If they bomb us we will love them. If they kill our parents we will love them. If our children are slaughtered we will still love them. We will love them until either we ourselves have fallen under their sword or until they have beaten their weapons into farming tools. That is how we are to love! That is how we are to forgive! We must suffer in our love just like Christ suffered for us. If we do not suffer than we do not love as Christ loved. We must love until it hurts and then keep loving. We must forgive no matter what, we must resist evil not by committing acts of evil but by love. We must show we are Disciples of Christ by our actions and not by confessing him with our mouths. Christ gave his life for us so why do we not risk our lives for his kingdom?

As followers of Christ we are called to forgiveness and love. So let us live a life of love then. Let us forgive our neighbors and love our enemies. Let us live as Christ lives and become one with the Spirit of the Lord. Life is a gift. Lets us not waste it by being blind our whole lives. Let us open our eyes to the reality of Christ and embrace it. This is the Word. Amen.

Finally be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying.

-Ephesians 6:10-20

Freedom

2010-07-06T16:27:00.000-04:00

Freedom. It was the ideal that America was founded upon and is still championed by America today. But what is freedom? This past Sunday was the 4^th of July, the celebration of America’s independence. It was also the second time I was overseas during the celebration of America’s independence. After traveling the world a decent amount and living in another country for a good amount of time, I began to ponder what freedom really is, and I began to realize that I have a lot to be thankful for.

I am free. Though I live in a land that oppresses and discriminates, I am free. Free not because I am an American but because I am a Christian. My freedom comes from Christ and no other. I do not need a government, or a nation, or a constitution, or a tribe to tell me my rights. I have none. And yet, I have more than the world combined. I am free in Christ.

Right now, as I am sitting here in Sudan, I think about all the patriotism that is displayed in America - the flags, fireworks, military parades, etc. When I was a child, I loved the fireworks the most…and the food. But now, as a Christian who is learning the true meaning of the words of Christ, I am finding it strange that so many who would claim to be Christians, show great zeal for their country, America. A country that has oppressed its own citizens and continues in some ways to oppress other peoples of other nations (i.e. sanctions) as well as discriminates against people who aren’t American citizens.

As Christians, Christ tells us to lover our neighbor as ourselves and to love our enemies. But if we are loving our country, and supporting our government (whatever side of the political spectrum you are on), how can we love Christ? For Christ said that we cannot serve two Gods but if we choose to celebrate our national heritage with its many failures (as well as some successes), how are we devoting ourselves completely to God?

The God of the Old Testament might have supported Israel and even helped them win some victories, but Jesus boldly stated that we must resist not evil (Mat. 5:39) and that we must love our enemies (Mat. 5:44). So how then, do we declare ourselves Christians, devoted followers and disciples of Christ when we stand by a country that has committed many atrocities and still continue to commit atrocities? A country that sends men to murder each other under the guise of war where Christians are killing each other, (there was a sizeable population of Iraqi Christians at the start of the war) with a total disregard for Jesus’ commandment of loving our enemies and resisting not evil. ( I am talking about America because that is where I was born and raised, but this post applies to all nations).

This blog is not meant to be a commentary on politics but on faith. It seems that we are ready to live for Christ so long as it doesn’t cost us our lives. But the second it seems that living by Christ’s teaching might mean losing our life, we don’t follow him. Peter said that he would die with Christ but ended up denying him three times. Here is one of Christ’s own disciples denying Jesus to save his own life. How many of us do this every day?

How many are martyred for their faith?

The point I am trying to make here is that in order to be totally devoted to Christ, in order to fully be a true follower and disciple, we must give it all to God. We must surrender everything. Paul says in Ephesians 5 that we must be imitators of God and live a life of love. Well God is love and the only way we can live a life of love is by following Jesus’ example and surrendering everything over to God to carry out his will, whatever it might be. That means we must surrender our desires, our dreams, our allegiances, and even our lives over to God. That’s scary, and you know it is. But guess what, it’s the truth. If we haven’t denied ourselves and taken up our own cross, how can we say we are followers of The Way, followers of Christ?

Being over here, walking with God, being in step with the Spirit, I have found a new awareness within. I see things in a different perspective now. Not one of my own but of God’s. When Jesus said that the Kingdom of God was within us he was right. It is within us and all around us. America is not the Kingdom of God-it isn’t even close. No nation is. I view the nation-state and I see it as a tool that Satan uses to divide us. We call ourselves American Christians or African Christians etc. There is no such thing. You are a Christian, a follower of Christ or you are not. But because of the politics of the world, there is now American Christianity, which is different than European Christianity, which is different than African Christianity. And yes, I am aware of the influence that culture plays in a religion, but isn’t the Church suppose to be of one mind and one body? Yet we see Christians being divided over silly issues (and yes, this is turning into sort of a rant and I know you are all saying, get on with it and I apologize but just bare with me a lil bit more). My point is this, unless you are totally devoted to following Jesus’ example of living, can you really be called a Christian? There are no politics in Christ. In fact, Tolstoy argued that Christians should abandon politics all together because politics forces you to not follow the commands of Jesus (such as the taking of oaths for example). Even voting, you are then choosing the lesser of two evils. Did not Jesus tell us not to judge? Who then are we to judge? Some might say I am taking things to the extreme, but having a chance to read the Gospel plainly for myself it seems quite clear. Granted, I could be wrong, but the Spirit inside of me confirms that I am right…that at least I am on the right path.

Anyway, back to patriotism…and freedom. A person can only be free in Christ. Being an American does not make you free, nor does it make you superior or better than anybody else. The only freedom you get is from Christ, and you don’t need an American to be free or have that freedom. You only need Christ. So even though the 4^th of July has already passed, I want you to think about the following passage. It is a quote from the Declaration of Sentiments adopted by the Peace Convention in Boston, 1838. It reads:

“We do not acknowledge allegiance to any human government. We recognize but one King and Lawgiver, one Judge and Ruler of mankind. Our country is the world, our countrymen are all mankind. We love the land of our nativity only as we love all other lands. The interests and rights of American citizens are not dearer to us than those of the whole human race. Hence we can allow no appeal to patriotism to revenge and national insult or injury… “

That begin said, what good is patriotism if it just takes away from God? Just some food for thought.

Letting Go

2010-07-02T15:52:00.001-04:00

There is no analogy that can aptly describe life. It is unique. It has its highs and lows, its twists and turns, its victories and defeats, its surprises and its predictability. Life, in short, is a paradox. It is impossible to predict the future yet we try and do it every day by worrying about it. The truth is is that we have no idea what’s going to happen a minute from now. We play the game of predictability and sometimes we get lucky…that’s all. One minute you are alive, the next you are dead. One minute you are full of hope, the next you are being crushed by the heavy weight of despair that has suddenly filled the air. One minute you are crying in sorrow, the next because of joy. Life is life.

Life is meant to be lived in the moment. Not in the memories of the past or the worries of the future. It is meant to be lived in the here and now with God. For God is our reality. He is the only reality for he created everything out of love and he is in everything and everything is in him. We just aren’t always aware of it.

When we live in the present, when we live in the moment. When we have moved on from the memories of the past and have stopped worrying about the future, we become aware of the awesome presence of God in our lives. He is in the wind, the ground under our feet, the butterfly to our left and the person to our right. The gospel of John says that God is Spirit. And because he is spirit he is inside us. When we get passed the distractions of our lives and learn to focus on the current moment, when we learn to walk in step with each second we become aware of a greater presence in the world. Our eyes are opened and we see things in a new perspective-the perspective of the divine. To truly become one with it we must shed our fears, we must shed our hopes, and we must drive out our dreams and failures and live in the moment. That is to be truly alive, to walk in step with the divine every second of every minute.

There is a different atmosphere of here. One which makes you aware of only now. You are not focusing on any other time or any other place but only here and now and you realize that now is the only reality there is. That to live in the memories of the past or the hope of the future is to not really live at all. In short, we must learn to constantly live in the present. We must learn to let go of our dreams, to give our fears to God, and to let him have his way with our life. We must learn to become one with him. This is true Christianity. To mimic Christ in all that he is and to seek to become one with the Divine.

There is a prayer I discovered some years ago that I want to share with you all. It didn’t have a name but I am calling it the Prayer of Surrender.

Lord, I’m Yours. Whatever the cost may be, may Your will be done in my life. I realize I’m not here on Earth to do my own thing, or seek my own fulfillment or my own glory. I’m not here to feed my desires, to increase my possessions, to impress people, to be popular, to prove I’m somebody important, or to promote myself. I’m not here to be relevant or successful by human standards. I’m here to please You.

I offer myself to You, for You are worthy. All that I am or hope to be, I owe to You. You created me to be Yours and everyday I receive from You life and breath and all that I need. And I’m Yours because You bought me with the precious blood of Jesus. You alone are worthy to be my Lord and Master. I yield to You, my gracious and glorious Father; to the Lord Jesus who loved me and gave Himself for me; to the Holy Spirit and His gracious influence and empowering.

All that I am and all that I have I give to You.

I give You any rebellion in me, that resists doing Your will. I give You my pride and self-dependence, that tell me I can do Your will in my own power if I try hard enough. I give You my fears, that tell me I’ll never be able to do Your will in certain areas of my life. I give You permission to energize me…to create in me both the desire and the power to do Your will.

I give You my body and me entire inner being: my mind, my emotional life, my will…my loved ones…my abilities and gifts…my strengths and weaknesses…my health…my possessions…my past, my present and my future.

I’m here to love You, to obey You, to glorify You. O gracious God, may I be a joy to You.

God is love. The only way to be filled with love is to be filled with God. The only way to be filled with both is to let go of yourself. This is what the Lord was speaking about when he declared that if we wish to follow him then we must deny ourselves and hate even ourselves. We must destroy the ego within and let His love be complete in us. For if we our filled with His love and goodness then there will be no room for evil and we will truly become one with God.

I am finally letting go,

I am finally moving on,

To where You are within,

There is no more me, I or my,

There is only us.

Daniel Atwali

2010-06-27T12:52:00.000-04:00

One of my many jobs here at Cornerstone is to head up the sponsorship program. As such, I will try to post stories about the children here every so often. Thanks to the co-director, Ross Kelly, here is one story about a young boy named Daniel. If anyone is interested in sponsoring Daniel or any child at Cornerstone, please email myself or go to www.fulaa.org

Daniel Atwali is a ten year old boy with a big smile and an even bigger heart. He started living at Cornerstone Children’s Home in July of 2008 after the administration of the home discovered the extremely difficult circumstance in which he was living. Daniel’s father was killed by the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA), a vicious Ugandan force that has terrorized East Africa for over 20 years. His mother was (and still is) living in abject poverty after being repeatedly displaced by the LRA.

When Daniel arrived at Cornerstone he had an enormous gash on one of his shins. The administration later learned that his wound was actually the result of an older wound that had never fully healed. Roughly a year before his arrival a group of boys threw Daniel into a small pit and his leg was broken in the fall. Though his leg was put into a cast and his bone eventually healed, the wound on his shin was never properly treated. Nevertheless, the parents at Cornerstone began to dress his wound each and every day and to treat him with antibiotics. Through this constant care, Daniel’s wound became smaller and smaller until it was completely healed. Unfortunately, the new skin that formed over the wound is very weak and whenever Daniel plays he faces the danger of possibly reopening the wound. In the last two years the wound has reopened on several occasions. Thankfully, the Cornerstone parents have never grown tired of dressing the wound, and every time Daniel falls down there is a father or mother to pick him up, clean his wound, and make sure it heals again.

Daniel is a very clever child, and his intelligence is evidenced by both his proficiency in English and his excellent results in school. Among his peers at school last year, Daniel had the most outstanding academic performance!

Despite the care being given to Daniel, his leg has slowly become misaligned. The misalignment seems to have been caused by an infection in the bone of the shin. Recently Daniel was taken to a hospital in Uganda to see what could be done to realign the leg. The doctors assured the Cornerstone parents and Daniel that his leg can be fixed. Thanks to generous donors in the United States, an operation is scheduled for the summer of 2010.

2010-06-24T04:22:00.000-04:00

Life her in Nimule is great. There is a magical feeling to this place. the kids are always smiling and laughing and there is nothing more beautiful then seeing that everyday.

But sadly, if we do not get help soon, there will be a lot less kids smiling and laughing. We are in desperate need of money for our scholarship fund, and quite honestly, if we don't receive $6,000 soon, we will have to decide who gets to stay in school and who does not. Please click on the link below to read an article written by Ross Kelly, the co-director, about the situation on his blog.

http://deepsouthsudan.com/

Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful

2010-06-12T11:40:00.000-04:00

There is a seductive beauty about Africa. You are drawn into a trance by the landscape which continues endlessly. Peace settles upon you and you realize that you are alive.

Life in Africa is slow. It is lived day by day, minute by minute, second by second. That is the first thing you will notice when you travel away from the cities. No one is concerned about tomorrow. They live only in the present. If I had to choose which lifestyle I would want to live, this one or the fast-paced world in America I would choose my life here in Sudan over America any day of the week. Why? There are no distractions here. No future. No past. Only now. This is a blessing, one which had eluded me in America…

I left my old home in the United States on Sunday and arrived at me new home in Nimule, Sudan on Wednesday morning. Travel went well and while I was in Kampala, the capital city of Uganda, I picked up a cell phone and exchanged some money there. It’s been a year since I’ve been here in Sudan but it feels like I have never left. My transition here has been smooth and I know that this is where I’m supposed to be. Even all of the kids remember me and it is like I have never left. Even the new children who arrived while I was gone have taken an immediately liking to me and again I take this to be sign that this is where I’m meant to be.

All the children here have grown so much. They are all very beautiful and are constantly smiling. I have never seen so many children smile before in my life. It lifts my heart to see this. Words cannot begin to describe the joy that I am feeling while I am over here. All I can do is just pray that someday everyone can experience what I am feeling. God is doing great things here and it is so great to be a part of it.

Next week begins my first official week here and I will be starting some of my programs. That week will see the beginning of a new mentoring/discipleship program that I will be starting and running.

That’s all for now.

Blessings of Peace and Love

We are More

2010-06-05T13:48:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I leave for Africa. It seems that everything that has occurred this past year has led to this moment. It's been a roller-coaster of a ride but it's finally here.

As I prepare myself to leave, I can't help but think that a part of me is dying as well. As I'm saying my goodbyes I realize the hardest goodbye to say is to yourself. I know that you cannot stay the same when you leave for an experience such as this and perhaps a part of me is scared. Scared because I'm going out into the unknown away from what I know and I don't like that. I'm changing inside, changing for the better. But a part of me doesn't want to change because of what I have to leave behind. I'm afraid of the lonely path that is ahead of me. Two years is a long time and yet, compared to the eternity that we are a part of it is nothing. I guess my biggest fear is that I have seen the Truth and am afraid to embrace it and become who I'm suppose to become. I am the light of the world (Mathew 5:14). We all are and yet so few seem to embrace it. We are told to let our lights shine but do we really let them shine as bright as they should be? Too often it seems we are held back by our past mistakes and failures or our fears. But the truth is our lights do shine bright but we hide them because we are afraid. But what is fear? Isn't it just an illusion that we have created for ourselves? 1 John tells us that God is Love and that His love is perfect. He also tells us that if we are truly united in Him then his perfect love has driven away all of our fear because fear does not exist in love. So if we are fearful or afraid, then what we really are is distant from God...

I pray that God will draw me closer to him. I pray that he will engulf me in his love and drive away my fear. I pray that he draws me deep inside so that we may be one, unified in thought and action. I pray that he does this to all of us, so that we can all experience life. For life without God is no life at all. I pray that he awakens us all to the reality that He is within us and surrounds us. I pray that we all find the inner peace that we each seek, which can only be achieved when we are all finally one...

I am leaving a lot behind...but ultimately I am going to the source of everything which is God. I have found the Pearl of Great Price and am selling everything for it....

There is a song by Tenth Avenue North called "You are More." The chorus goes:

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

This is where I am at in my life. I've failed, made mistakes, made choices that ultimately hurt people, people that I cared about including myself. But I am being remade. I am being molded by God. This isn't something to be feared but embraced. and though it is hard to go through the process of changing who you you are I encourage all of you to allow God change you. Go deep inside yourself and find out who you are. Mediate on it and then meditate on who God wants you to become. We are all worthy. The closing verses of the song are as follows:

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.

This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

We are all more. I have realized this. After much struggle I have come to realize that we are more than our separate self.

A part of me dies tomorrow when I step onto the plane. But a new and better me is being fashioned.

Blessings of Peace and Love,
Christian

Responsibilities

2010-04-22T20:10:00.001-04:00

While I am in Sudan, my roles will vary. Here is a list of some of my responsibilities.

Cornerstone Children’s Home (CCH) Caretaker
Assist Seth Trudeau in all aspects of Education Initiative
Director of Spiritual Guidance and Extracurricular Activities Initiatives
Works closely with Cornerstone Church and CCH staff to strengthen CCH children’s relationship with God
Leads bible studies and small groups
Develop Sunday School program for Cornerstone Church
Train and assess Sunday School teachers
Develop close relationship with church members
Train qualified church members to lead small group and discipleship programs for Cornerstone kids and broader community
Develop extracurricular activities, groups and programs for CCH kids including sports, music and drama
Create safe environment for children to play afterschool
Raise funds or donations of equipment for extracurricular programs
Train community members and CCH staff to run extracurricular activities
Assist in spiritual guidance, mentoring, parenting, and general care giving of CCH children as necessary
Expand activities and invite all children in the community to participate in extracurricular activities

Because I am employed by a non-profit, I have to raise my own funds for support for the programs as well as student loans that will be piling up. If anyone is interested in donating money and supporting me, please send me an email at cjkochon@gmail.com for information on how to make a tax-deductible donation.

My Choice

2010-04-22T19:54:00.012-04:00

Have you ever woke up one morning and realized that your life was about to drastically change? Did you ever experience a moment in life when you were suddenly aware that you were at a turning point in your life? That was me this morning.

In a little over a month I will head back to the Sudan where I will live for the next two years and it’s just hitting me now how much of an impact it will have on my life. To describe what I am feeling right now is impossible. All I know is that the Lord has guided me there and will continue to be my beacon.

For those of you who do not know, I am working for a non-profit called Cornerstone Friends as their Director of Child Activities at the Cornerstone Children’s Home Orphanage, which is sponsored by Fulaa Lifeline International. After spending last summer there I knew I wanted to return and I knew that God was guiding me back to Sudan. The events that followed only confirmed what I already knew and I am all set to leave on June 6. I am now beginning to fully understand God’s role in my life and am realizing what He can do. I am also realizing that a small group of people can truly accomplish anything in the world when the group places their trust in the Lord. As a very dear friend of mine once said, “We are all pencils in the hand of God.”

I am grateful for the wonderful friends that I have made these last four years in college and will miss you all greatly. I am saddened that I am leaving but I do not let the sadness hold me back. For “goodbyes” to old friends means “hello” to new friends. I know that I will see my old friends again someday, whether it be in this world or the next, and am comforted by the miracles of modern technology such as email and Skype. I will constantly cherish the memories that I have and will never forget any of you. Thank you for such an amazing four years and please stay in touch.

As I walk out into the world I remind myself that I am here because of God. I am alive to know Him and to make Him known. My life is not about what I want but about Him. My life is Christ. He is my breath and my heart beat. He is my everything.

The beauty of rain,
How it glistens in the sun.
The warmth of my heart,
O! What joy does the Way bring?
The Truth is finally known!

As I take the road of a disciple and follow Christ completely, I am reminded of an inspiring declaration of faith:

The Fellowship of the Unashamed:

I am part of a fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus, and I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still. My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure. I'm finished and done with low-living, side-walking, small-playing, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame divisions, mundane talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotion, applause, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, live by prayer and labor by power. My faith is set. My step is fast. My goal is heaven. My road is narrow. My way is rough. My companions are few. But my God is reliable and my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the name of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up or let up till I've stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up and preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go until He comes, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me, because my banner will be clear.

This is my life. I chose it just as God chose me. I am not perfect and often fall short in life. I can be arrogant, ignorant, stubborn, selfish and cruel. But I am on the journey of Love – the journey to expel the sinful nature within me and live as Christ. A life of patience and love, of truth and compassion, this is what I choose.

"I am the way and the truth and the life." John 14:6

2010-02-12T21:28:00.002-05:00

Following Jesus is a conscious effort of the will. It is a daily struggle of surrendering to God’s will. It is never a once and done deal but a way of life. In this struggle we will fall and we will fail. But because we place our hope in Christ, our Lord and Savior who overcame this world, we will be led back to the path by his redeeming grace.

In my own struggle to follow Jesus I have had many ups and downs. But despite this rollercoaster life I have learned through hardship and suffering, through highs and ecstasies to keep Jesus Christ the focus of my life. This isn't an automatic response but a conscious effort, one I struggle with daily. Temptation is great, but the Lord is greater. Throughout my life He has never forsaken me and has always been by my side. Even when all seemed lost.

In June I will head to Sudan, Africa. I will be volunteering at the Cornerstone Children’s Home, an orphanage in Nimule, Southern Sudan. I stayed at the place last summer as a solidarity worker for the New Community Project and fell in love with the children. Since then God has called me to love all the children of this world, to protect and love them and to give them all a home. Cornerstone is just the start of His ministry for me. I cannot say for certain how long I will stay at Cornerstone. I know that He is calling me to stay there for about two years. After which I shall go to wherever He is calling me next – if he ever calls me to leave.

This blog will be a journal of sorts for all to see. I don’t know how often I will update it or what I will share, but for those who are interested check back every now and then. If anyone is interested in learning more about Cornerstone Children’s Home check out www.fulaa.org. And for those interested in the New Community Project check out www.newcommunityproject.org.

Peace and Love,

Christian

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:14-16